In the span of time between mid 2011 and early 2013, I was verbally attacked on several occasions by some relatively distant family members who apparently can't handle someone being different than they are. It reminded me of my days of being bullied in elementary school and middle school, and it really threw me, because I'm now in my thirties and I thought I'd built a solid life without those types of bullies in it. I didn't expect such hatred to be boiling under the surface of my own family relationships, and even if I was aware of it in the past, I didn't think it went on to this day. Call me stupid, but I had more faith in these people than that. I was shocked.

Sometimes these attacks were in the guise of a difference of opinion about my choice to work from home. Sometimes they were an outright and outspoken attack on my bisexuality, my relationship with my partner, and our decision to have children sometime not too far in the future. Those are convenient excuses to soothe their psyches, but these individuals never accepted me, even as a child, calling me a monster, a recluse, a pervert, a freak, and a weirdo ever since my age was in the single digits.

These emotional assaults caused (or exacerbated) rifts in my family that may never heal. I carried the weight of this for so long, and finally I had to leave that destruction with the people who caused it. Now they're dealing with the aftermath (as are some innocent bystanders who were unfortunately affected by all of this) and I'm simply moving on and channeling all of this through my art. I have been an unwilling soldier in this for far too many decades. I never did anything to deserve that kind of treatment and I won't fight that war anymore. The only value in it will be found in my writing and in the way I will protect my children from these vultures and others like them.

I have finally reached a place in my life where I don't care what "they" say about me (no matter who "they" may be on any given day). We have all been in this position and we all have to learn to grow stronger in adversity and find that inner calm in the storm. These painful moments have given me more strength and resilience than I ever had before.

The lyrics below came to me following one of the more recent (and one of the last) confrontations. I hope these resonate with those who have also been bullied, beaten, and bruised by the hatred of misguided human beings. May we all find the strength to forgive, move on, and find better people to share our days and nights with!

ALIEN
(K. Hornyak)

Someone was on a power trip
When my spaceship crashed down
She took control of it
She told you my sparkling lights
Were a mind-control device
"Save the women and children first
And then run for your lives
Something here is dangerous
Something here's not nice"

B-SECTION:
But remember
What Susie says of Sally
Says more of Susie than Sally
And what they say of me
Reveals their hidden lives

CHORUS 1:
Alien
"She doesn't look like us
She doesn't think like us"
Alien
"She won't fit in with us
She won't bow down to us"
Damn right
It's my life

So now I'm in the thick of it
When their facade blew up
They blamed me for it
They placed the bombs that lit the night
While I sang childhood lullabies
"She's a monster, she's a freak
Like the others we despise
Let's kill her in her sleep
Then bury her with lies"

B-SECTION 2:
But remember
What they say of Kelley
Says more about them than Kelley
And what they say of you
Reveals their most feared truths

CHORUS 2:
Alien
"He doesn't look like us
He doesn't think like us"
Alien
"He won't fit in with us
He won't bow down to us"
Damn right
Live your life

BRIDGE:
There are no aliens
No foreigners
No outsiders
No monsters
No freaks
We are the same
There is no shame
We were all put here
For a higher purpose
Than we can see
And we will survive
And forgive in time

REPEAT CHORUS 1

REPEAT CHORUS 2

OUTRO:

We are the same
There is no shame
We will survive
Forgive in time

Copyright © 2013 by Kelley Ann Hornyak. All rights reserved.