I posted previously about getting a new job, but I apparently forgot to mention that I got the raise at my other job too! Honestly, it's not enough of a difference to get me where I need to be, but after a little over a week of full-time transcription and captioning (no more writing except my own personal work), I do feel more free, though I am very tired.
It's hard work, but I love it. The writing always drained me. I don't think anyone would ever understand that (except maybe another writer), because writing is something that comes so naturally to me. But there was an element of resentment in it. An element of, "Why am I writing this for you when I have so much writing of my own to do?"
Not to say that I don't deeply appreciate my clients, as I clearly do, or I wouldn't have spent ten years working with them. But a large part of my soul feels free now because the only writing that I do is MINE.
I've taken some time out to do research on book layouts... real time, at bookstores, pouring over pages of books that look similar to how I envision mine. None of which, mind you, were actual poetry books. I'll be blunt: The poetry section is visually boring. I couldn't find a single book that looks anything like Dancing the Dream by Michael Jackson, which is my favorite book of all time and will likely inspire a great deal of my layout.
When they say there's no money in poetry, could it be because we don't put any art with it? Don't just paint pictures with your words. Take some excellent photos and give people something to look at with that work of yours! That's what I like. But then again, my inspiration was the greatest entertainer who ever lived. Some may disagree, but I'm going to stand by Berry Gordy's words there. In fact, I'll edit that a bit to say the greatest artist who ever lived.
So if you wonder why it took me a lifetime to finally put out that first book of poetry, it's because I was inspired by a perfectionist. I've since learned that perfectionism can also stop you from doing many things, so I try to keep it in balance. But make no mistake, I'm still not going to try to hand you a book that is anything less than a work of art. I'm not playing, here. The wait will be worth it, and the books will pour in steadily following that first one.
Thank you, as always, for dancing the dream with me. ❤︎
