Runoff — NaPoWriMo Day #30 — a poem about escaping a toxic relationship

She anchored her world
with a chronic sense of overwhelm
and made sure that the rest of us
were completely saturated
by that ocean of busyness
until no one bothered to knock on her door
for fear that the overflow may drown us.

Though we all absorbed the runoff,
I was the only one who had to live within it,
to swim within it and learn not to inhale the sea.
My caretaker had an idea, but only an idea
because she was skilled at hiding
the damage she had done to me.

So, so tired of hiding.
Sickened and done with all the lying.
How can she be the same one
who taught me truth?

I was supposed to keep imbibing
and never speak about these things,
but now the runoff is mine
because I am processing
and letting go
of not only the dream
but also the denial.
I'll leave them here
on the dry earth,
in the quiet.
I'll walk until
it's just me
and
the
night.

Photo by: Christopher Campbell